A Journey into the Mirror Part 2

"For it isn't your father or mother or wife who judgment upon you must pass The fellow whose verdict counts the most in your life is the one staring back from the glass"


It's natural to want to get approval from others, especially those you are close with. We are raised that way, from being taught what is wrong and what is right. When we do something right, we received approval and praise from those we love and are close with. This process continued throughout childhood, and still today.

You are probably sitting at an office or working from home for an employer. You may even love your job, but in most cases, you don't. You want to do something better with your life. You want to follow your passion. You want to have your own company, and be your own boss. What keeps you there? Can it be fear of financial insecurity? Fear of failure if you wonder out on your own? All of those excuses keep you from taking that first step.

There is something else while being employed that keeps you from taking your first step with all your personal excuses playing tricks on you. It's approval or a positive judgement from your employer, your boss and so on. They make you feel that you are a core part of the company and they can't do this without you. They throw praise at you. This increases the chances you don't venture out and do your own thing. So you stay, working 9-5 for someone else, making them happy and making them wealthier.

But I'm willing to bet, that feeling of approval you received is like a sugar rush and it goes away after a while. Now you're stuck going home, looking at yourself in the mirror and not seeing a look of approval, but a look of disappointment. You are disappointed with yourself and that hurts even more, compared to the others. But you keep ignoring that feeling and keep doing the same thing everyday, going to work for someone else.

If you want help to actually feel that pain and understand it, so it can motivate you to do better. To take the leap of faith for yourself and start something that is yours, I say remember three things.

1. Remember the most influential person you knew personally. Be it your mother, your father, a sibling, a grandparent. It doesn't matter. They have to be a person that you bent over backwards to get their praise and approval.

2. Now, remember a time where you disappointed them so badly that they didn't want to talk to you, or they became distant toward you. Remember how that felt. Remember how you promised yourself you would never have them disappointed with you again, and you would never feel that pain again.

3. Take that person you disappointed, the painful feeling from doing that, and intensify it by 100. Now go to the mirror and see your reflection and see yourself as that other person you hurt. Ask yourself if that person you cared for so much, if they could see your own reflection now, how would they feel?

Would they be approving of you and what you're doing, or disappointed that you are unhappy and you are doing it to yourself?

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